*Shriek!! GASP!!!*
...the horror.....oh, the unholy horror...!
Now, here at the kloset, your Hostess tries to speak in affirmatives. I don't like the words "ugly", " fat", "old", and so on. I believe in the concept of infinite potential, provided we have the courage to live up to it. So....in posting my first DON'T, let's be clear on two things.
Thing 1: in doing these, they'll be anonymous. Heads will be cut out of all pics, because the whole point of posting is for educational purposes. I will be critiquing for style, effort, and visual presence....NOT who they are as people (and also because, quite frankly, in most you really won't be able to tell who they are or what they really do because the outfit is such a poor reflection of the individual). Look around, that style disconnect is everywhere! Which brings us to....
Thing 2:learn, then REPRESENT.....most think very little about matching the inside to the outside (which is funny, given how visual of a society we've become). After each one, ask yourself: How well do I represent me? (Example...no one has ever expressed surprise when told I'm a stylist, so if someone saw you walking down the street, could they reasonably guess your job or lifestyle?)...
....and now, I present you...The.......(wait for it)......*thunder crash* ....Outfit With No Style!!! (Sorry, that's the last time I'll do that....maybe....):
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| I know it's just from the back, but that's quite enough! |
We can already tell the major thing wrong here. Crew socks pulled up to the knee....with Capri pants. Unless you're an NBA player circa 1975, you should not be wearing these socks, this high. Ever!
Then we have the dreaded Mom Jean....note the droopy square it makes of the rear. A dear friend pointed out it made her look like SpongeMom SquareButt...sigh...then the giant puffy running shoe...a sure fire way to make your foot look huge and cartoon-ish.
Tip 1: Really, there's no shame in checking out your own butt.....highly recommend it, I do it all the time....how else do you know if you have pancake cheeks in an outfit or not? Or worse, if you can see panty lines or indents; just think of it as being for decency's sake, not vanity's....
...and this tip for butt checking is meant for the dudes too....(no one wants to see the outline of anything, 'k?).....what's good for the goose is good for the gander...
The bottom hem of the fleece pullover on top is completely the wrong length, also something I see a lot of so...
Tip 2: Hemlines on tops!! Since we as humans come in all shapes and sizes here's brief top-tutorial...for most women, try to have your tops not go past the apex of the curve of your hip.
In the instance of a frame built more in line (there's not much difference between the width of her bust, waist and hips) and for a fuller figure where the bust and hips are fuller than the waist, go for a hem that hits at your natural waistline...think about hitting the spot where you're the narrowest.
For the taller, leaner types with a fuller bust (....we all hate you....just kidding!!...)....go for a hemline that hits just a touch below the natural waist to balance out the lengthy frame and pull the eye from the bust closer to the hip.
...and if you feel like you need more guidance, email me at: katskoolkloset@gmail.com....
Now for the "Guess The Profession" portion of our evaluation:...housekeeper? Dog walker?
...retired doctor?.....Wait....had you going for a second, didn't I? I wondered though...food for thought...
The truth is, we'll never really know ('truth' defined loosely as: that which is actually the case)...because we can't tell from this outfit who this person could really be.
Now for what could work better for her:...the top is just a comfy tee, but note the more appropriate length. I assumed she was cold given the socks and fleece (*cringe*), so a nice comfy jean in a dark, leg lengthening wash having a slight flare and coral cardigan are perfect.
The cardigan nips in slightly at the waist, so we've lost the box-on-a-box configuration she had going. The low flat for running around town, a bright bag and then finished off with a bold necklace.
End result: a stylish, casual look that's comfortable but still polished--and we've now left the square shapes for that green bag (instead of her butt)!
Style re-cap...never wear tights or knee high socks pulled up with a shorter pant! If it's that cold, just put on full length pants.
Check your butt; it's good for everyone...you wouldn't leave the house without checking the front side at least once so...don't neglect the caboose, Silly Goose!
Lastly, when you're in public, remember--WE CAN SEE YOU!....just because you don't want to be seen doesn't mean you won't be seen. People see you no matter what; control what they see. It's a powerful tool that's easy to wield if you simply choose to pick it up.
Here endeth the lesson, StyleWise Guys and Fellow Fashionistas...
Til next time...
Goodnight and Good Dress!
XO
Kat
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